The last 2 years or so have been interesting to me, as i’ve been seeking more knowledge about the conditions affecting me, how I can try and deal with them better, and what exactly it is that I have!
I know that last part may, in modern psychology/psychiatry or anything related, is perhaps unusual, as there a tendency seemingly away from diagnosis from professionals. I’ve stated in the past, several times, on this blog, and face to face with doctors, and mental health workers over the past few years how to deal with these conditions I have, it would be helpful to put a name to them.
Starting up this blog however 6 months ago today saw a shift in gear in that process. I had already gained a lot of knowledge through reading a lot! And talking a lot to my doctor and family members, as well as mental health workers over several years. I like self awareness, it gives me some sort of comfort to put a name to things. It’s quite interesting when I think about it, that I do feel that way about the conditions I have, yet my conditions involve avoidance of certain stress triggers. Clearly, any diagnosis would not be a stress trigger for me, it’s more stressful actually wondering what this thing/these things are. But that seems to be a difficult concept to put across to those doctors and mental health assessors I have seen.
As I said, starting this blog did somehow see a shift in gear, although that was more subconsciously, rather than a conscious decision to do so. Starting this blog originally was a means to release my thoughts, to let off steam, to let go of what was on my mind.
However, i’ve gradually noticed a change, as well as those things, i’m also trying to analyse myself more, to think about why I may or may not do certain things, and what may or may not cause things to happen. In the process, i’ve learned a great deal purely from reading many great blogs from lots of you, and I must say thank you to so many of you for inspiring me, for making me think more, and for enlightening me in some ways. And I feel that I may have also enlightened others who perhaps didn’t have too much knowledge or insight into various mental illnesses. I’d like to hope so anyway.
For many years I have been seeking a review of my diagnosis, for all the above reasons. For those unaware of the mental health system you would not believe how difficult this is, it may sound easy when you read those words, but seriously, it really isn’t! Especially with overlapping symptoms which could fit various diagnoses. This is why I must have typed thousands of words to try and understand this thing within me, and have read millions of words most likely. All those articles scare mongering about diagnosis happy mental health professionals? Seriously! Where are they all? I’ve not found any for years in the NHS when i’ve been looking for someone to review mine! It is a learning excercise, and I have to say that starting this humble little blog 6 months ago today has really helped with that.
I hope that in the next 6 months I can make further progress in this area. That was my goal at the start of 2013, to do more to help myself in this process, and I really am trying, although it is a struggle at times, as many of you will know from your own experiences.
Here’s to the next 6 months, and, possibly a change of name for the blog, cheers! (I know, it’s early still, it’s only coffee! Haha)
The Depressed Moose
01/02/2013 at 12:36
congrats on 6 months mate i remember you first post (wipes tear from face) they grow up so quickly nowadays
maddsuspicions
01/02/2013 at 13:14
Thanks Moosey, for your inspiration also. All the best as always
jaynel62
01/02/2013 at 14:16
Oooh new name?? Intriguing.
Can’t wait to read what you decide and hears to many blogs, whatever the pseudonym!
All best as always xx
maddsuspicions
01/02/2013 at 14:26
Hi Jayne, thanks!
You probably know from reading this blog for a while now that I have been unhappy with my last formal diagnosis, but i’ve been stuck with it, despite it being an inadequate description of my conditions.
Fingers crossed this year things will change, I tend to believe the MADD diagnosis was an attempt to put me into some sort of newly created category to monitor how some newly created condition was over a period of time, and that is possibly why people have been reluctant to change it, despite all evidence I attempt to provide to show how other conditions could have been much more applicable.
That’s where the new name comes in, and perhaps an upbeat part as well, as I said, all depending on how the year goes! Fingers crossed.
All the best to you also